I must admit that the loving-kindness exercise was somewhat beneficial, but also difficult for me! I enjoyed the background noise which sounded like waves near a deserted island. I always imagine myself escaping to a very far place which consist of only me, the sand and the clear blue waters. I was able to connect with my inner-self as I focused my attention on my spouse, the one I care so dearly about. It wasn't difficult at all for me to generate that attention into my own state of mind without any difficulties. This connection was very easy for me and helpful because we both share the same type of happiness and goals.
I found it difficult for me to endure the pain and suffering that my dear uncle is experiencing at this time. This became very emotional for me, and my mind began to wonder on my mom and others that are also suffering from illnesses. It was hard for me to embrace the pain that each of them was enduring. What should have been a main focus on one, turned out to be pain suffered for many. It was hard to connect and let go of the emotions that I have for these individuals!
I did not particular care about including my enemies in my session. For some reason, I began to loose focus because I began to focus more on the bitterness they had towards me, and less on the engagement for this part of the session.
As I focused on the concepts of " mental workout", I began to establish some ground rules within myself. #1. I had to realize that it was going to take more than one session to change my thoughts and views towards adapting to love-kindness within myself, because I feel as though I'm always the one giving and hardly ever receiving. Which often leaves me with a feeling of doubt towards others, as well as trust issues that are often difficult for me except!
#2. In order for me make use of this practice, I must gain a sense of understanding towards the practice and the methods before totally engaging in this type of meditation. It left me wondering and asking myself, "Am I the only one feeling this ways, or is it hard for me to connect to others while focusing on myself?"
I'm not sure if I would recommend this session to anyone because I noticed that there was too much laps time within the session. This caused my mind to wonder off a couple of times during this sesssion!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I have to agree with your assessment that these exercises are going to take a few tries before they make lasting difference. I have been trying out the lovingkindness one and I seem to get stuck at the loving yourself spot. I have a lot of love for others but seem to stumble with finding something about me to love with the same intensity. I have faith that it will come I am just having a problem with it right now.
ReplyDeleteLike everything we do we have to realize that we cannot fix or change everything with one try. Change takes detemination and practice. You also have to want to change and then start your very own path, thats right you may have to hold down a few blades of grass by your self to start your own path. We have to learn patience and enduring in order to manifest change and then when we do we have happiness because we start to really appreciate who we are and what we do to help others. Try not to forget that giving is also a way of receiving.
ReplyDeleteKeesha,
ReplyDeleteAgain, here we are having the same sort of difficulties. I think that if I had someone coaching me through this exercise vs. an annoying voice on a c.d. this could have been a much better experience. Instead, I felt alone with all the helplessness I felt inside. So many people, so much pain... It was very intense.
Wow Keesha, I am sorry for all of the things you are going through lately. It always seems like when we get ahead and things are good, life has a way of "smacking us in the face." Well maybe you should try this again at a later time. I know its hard to focus on good things sometimes, but the more we practice the better we become. Good luck!!
ReplyDelete